Returning Lighter

I had so much to write and say and then I went on holiday, and it made me feel small. It gave me perspective about how small and insignificant my life is. Now this might seem kind of depressing, but I love feeling like a blip in the universe, in time. Right before going on this trip, I

I received an extremely angry email from my ex-boyfriend. I had to use so much self-control to disengage.

But here's the thing, I think I like fighting and arguing... to some extent or maybe it's a habit well formed over the years. It was theoretically easy to let the incident go, to not take it personally, and to realize the scathing, intentionally hurtful comments was his reaction to feeling pain, but some days I'd brew with wanting to seek vengeance by publishing the email or gossiping with friends. Slightly wiser now, I knew that I was just causing so much suffering to myself by holding onto the incident.

Then holiday came and I felt like none of it was important. These thoughts that cause my suffering and the desire to be a victim to an unwarranted (email) attack was so menial.

I aim to get some nature in my travels and I got a lot this trip.

I just completely melt when I'm surrounded by mountains. There's something about mother nature that puts me at ease and grounds me into myself.

There is so much beauty and good in the world if I stopped focusing on my own narrative. The beauty was in my surroundings and the good people I was surrounded by. I've gotten pretty good at picking up the small moments to be grateful for like a job that I like enough, a salary that alloves me to live comfortably by myself, a body that allows me to be active and do yoga, and family and friends. But it's a another thing to actually actively feel the joy of their company. Sometimes I imagined what a totally different trip it would be without these people or if I didn't have a friend that took off and was willing to drive for hours around Switzerland. Wow! Just so much to be thankful for.

And that's the best thing about traveling: not only did the boundaries of my world and experiences expanded to include the Italian Amalfi coast and Switzerland, but so did the boundaries of my mind.

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It's been a wonderful, beautiful experiment. Writing and expressing on this medium has given me great satisfaction and accomplishment, not for what was produced but for the growth it required of me. W