2017 * toast

2017, you were an exceptional year. There were lots of personal trials but they paled in comparisons to all the triumphs and gains.

Last year I truly began to love and accept all of myself, to know my boundaries and express them, to be uncomfortably vulnerable in times of sadness and anger, to have standards for the people close in my life, to value those who uphold those standards and return the same kindness and love given, to take responsibility and forgive myself when I make mistakes, to say no when some thing or some one does not serve me. And through all these inner transformations, beautiful things blossomed in life. I strengthened my friendships because I was unafraid to be me, express myself, and rely on others in times of pain. I've learned a deeper (platonic) love. I fell in love with life, friends, and a man this year. I fought off my habit of running away when things got hard. I challenged myself emotionally and ruthlessly got to know myself.

I traveled, adventured, and explored myself, comfort levels, and countries. I went to Costa Rica, Vietnam, Indonesia, and back home to Boston. I got to to be MOH to my best friend and express my love to her on that day. I moved in with the bf (for the time being) and have loved coming home to his face every day. And I'm more fit than I've been years before.

The best thing I will carry into 2018 is a sense of a full, optimistic heart for the future, the capability to handle when life gets messy and complicated, and curiosity and bravery to face the unknown. And in every moment gratitude for the present.

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It's been a wonderful, beautiful experiment. Writing and expressing on this medium has given me great satisfaction and accomplishment, not for what was produced but for the growth it required of me. W